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Monday, June 28, 2004:

This is what happens when your brain melts from a geology overdose...

Last night Kathleen (my partner for the final project) and I sat down and tried to work on our report (the project is actually 3 projects in one area- Lime Creek.). We wound up spending most of our time coming up with bogus title pages...

A few of the gems:

THELime Creek Projects Report
Damn Skippy!

A story of the ancient jungle in four parts.
A love story about three apes and their favorite chimpanzee.
Coming to a shitty geology report near you!

The Lime Creek Project!

This is not actually the title page of our report. Do not be alarmed. We are not responsible for any conditions resulting from turning the page. Do not run for the hills. Do not give us an 'F'. Laugh. Turn the page and forget you ever saw this figment of insanity. This faux cover page will self-destruct when this report is thrown away. This product is not to be used by pregnant women. Paper does not enable reader to fly. This report is not on Rite in the Rain paper, please don't take it in the shower. Contents under pressure, open away from face. This report is intended for ages 3 and up. Please read responsibly. Do not put over face, may cause suffocation. By all means, mix with alcohol. Seriously. We mean that. This report is not intended for use above 11,000 feet in altitude. Fabric softener not recommended. This report is best read while in your happy place. Dishwasher safe. Always transport upright. Do not read while operating heavy machinery. May cause drowsiness. Do not read and drive. For external use only. In case of accidental ingestion, please contact your local poison control center. May cause lung cancer. Serving Suggestion: beer. Lots. For best results, squeeze from the bottom of the tube. Shouldn't you be reading the actual report now??


In a moment of actual insanity, we decided to put that last one on the front of our report, over the actual title page. We may decide otherwise, who knows.

Okay, back to studying.

Supreme Mongoose // 8:34 AM

Oh, you two... you absolute goons, you! (^_^)

Some nice titles there. Hehe... (=^_^=) "Serving suggestion: beer"? (:p) Actually, I prefer alcopops. Beer tastes like I imagine piss would taste like. But at least it's cheap, I guess...

(If I ever did write any semblance of a humorous title on any of my official school or university reports, I'm not sure the prudish teachers here - especially the science ones in high school - would have found it funny... Yeah, it's all a bit serious over here. Perhaps even too serious... which probably explains why I find many of the university lecturers in the bar after a long day of lectures. Driven to drink. What a sad existence... Poor sods.)
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